And to be honest, those words cut me to the core. I don't know what my reaction would have been if I didn't love him with all my heart.
I was stunned and had no idea what he was talking about...until today.
Today, God showed me that I am a liar...and I'm thankful that he did...
You see, I have this man-made ability to take the truth and stretch it, mold it, and even tear it to one degree or another to make it somehow come out in my favor. I'm masterful at using what I know to be the truth, and saying "just enough about it" at "just the right time" to work people toward the outcome that I'm looking for. That's what I do best...and that makes me a liar, a manipulator, and a control freak. It also keeps me away from God...
I want so badly for those around me to feel good about themselves, so I pretend not to know what is going on; it helps them to see themselves as smarter or more informed than me.
I call it "flattery"...God calls it a lie.
I take the facts and add a little "unfounded" detail or two when telling a story.
I call it "making it more realistic"...God calls it a lie.
I want others to believe what I'm saying without questioning the source, so I rearrange the facts or details and put them in an order that seems more credible; always to my favor.
I call it "proving my case"...God calls it a lie.
I don't do these things on purpose mind you...I do them very indirectly. But that's only because I've been doing them for so long, they've become second nature to me. Why do I do these things? God showed me this morning by using Max Lucado to walk me through it.
"The truth, we learn early, is not fun. We don't like the truth. Not only do we not like the truth, we don't trust the truth. If we are brutally honest, we'd have to admit that the truth seems inadequate to do what we need done...The plain fact is we don't like the truth. Our credo is You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you squirm."
Max Lucado
Just Like Jesus
Today, God showed me that I am a liar...and I'm thankful that he did...
You see, I have this man-made ability to take the truth and stretch it, mold it, and even tear it to one degree or another to make it somehow come out in my favor. I'm masterful at using what I know to be the truth, and saying "just enough about it" at "just the right time" to work people toward the outcome that I'm looking for. That's what I do best...and that makes me a liar, a manipulator, and a control freak. It also keeps me away from God...
I want so badly for those around me to feel good about themselves, so I pretend not to know what is going on; it helps them to see themselves as smarter or more informed than me.
I call it "flattery"...God calls it a lie.
I take the facts and add a little "unfounded" detail or two when telling a story.
I call it "making it more realistic"...God calls it a lie.
I want others to believe what I'm saying without questioning the source, so I rearrange the facts or details and put them in an order that seems more credible; always to my favor.
I call it "proving my case"...God calls it a lie.
I don't do these things on purpose mind you...I do them very indirectly. But that's only because I've been doing them for so long, they've become second nature to me. Why do I do these things? God showed me this morning by using Max Lucado to walk me through it.
"The truth, we learn early, is not fun. We don't like the truth. Not only do we not like the truth, we don't trust the truth. If we are brutally honest, we'd have to admit that the truth seems inadequate to do what we need done...The plain fact is we don't like the truth. Our credo is You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you squirm."
Max Lucado
Just Like Jesus
So there it is in black and white...Somewhere in my mind, I don't believe that the truth is strong enough for people to see who I am and to love me for it. I don't' trust God to take care of me and do what he says, so I help him just a little by stretching and shading the truth...
But God doesn't want me to be that way. He loves me so much that when I tell the truth, he controls the situation. He will control everything...but only if I let him. When I speak the truth, he takes the "inadequacy" that I feel, and completely turns it around...he uses the truth for his good...I just have to BE STILL and let him do the work.
What about you? Sound familiar? I hope not...but it's OK if it does...it's not too late to be honest.
Today I committed myself to the truth. I prayed that God would hold me close and that I would speak the truth in everything I did. And you know what? Once again he showed himself faithful. He brought to mind every time I wanted to speak the truth in a way that was not actual. And I'm ashamed to say that he did it all day long, and at almost all times. But he kept me honest...and I'm thankful for that. And it was truly an amazing day...
So I sincerely apologize to everyone who has ever felt manipulated or controlled by me, but chose to love me unconditionally anyway. Though there were times that I knew exactly what I was doing, there were honestly times when I had no idea what was coming out of my mouth...my intent was not to control or manipulate, even though that was the result. Please forgive me...
Jeff, you and Chris have seen it firsthand...thank you for loving me unconditionally anyway...
Shana and Kelly, you've been kind enough at times to let it pass without buying into it...thank you for loving me unconditionally anyway...
Michael, Kent, Catherine, Trisa, Kati, Rise, Conley, Kasandra, and Veronica, you've always been able to look past what I do, to see who I am...thank you for loving me unconditionally anyway.
And Edgar...you had the courage to tell me the truth. Thank you for being honest...
So from now on, there must be no more lies. Speak the truth to one another.
Ephesians 4:25
I'm gonna do my best...
I promise...
And that's the truth!
