Dr. Pearl: People say, You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasn't. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him.
Ron Albertson: If there's an empty space, just fill it with a line, that's what I like to do. Even if it's from another show.
Corky St. Clair: It's a Zen thing, like how many babies fit in a tire.
Ron Albertson: We consider ourselves bi-costal if you consider the Mississippi River one of the coasts.
Corky St. Clair: Well, then, I just HATE you... and I hate your... ass... FACE!
Sheila: He's teaching me to change my instincts... or at least ignore them.
Libby Mae Brown: I been workin' here at the D.Q. for about, um... eight months? Seven? I don't know, somethin' like that, it's fun. Just do the cones... make sundaes, make Blizzards, 'n... put stuff on 'em, 'n... see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty.
Corky St. Clair: I'll tell you why I can't put up with you people. Because you're bastard people.
Corky St. Clair: Everybody dance!
Libby Mae Brown: I'll always have a place at the Dairy Queen.
Corky St. Clair: What the city council did was really... give me a challenge, and it's a challenge that I am going to... accept. It's like in the olden days, in the... days of France, when men would slap each other with their gloves... say, y'know..."D'Artagnan!"... y'know, "how dare you talk to me like that, you!," and... smack 'em!
Glenn Welsch, Mayor: There's a saying in Missouri, if you don't like the weather just wait five minutes. In Blaine, with hard work, I think we can get that down to three or four minutes.
