It's not that I'm scared, more like excited with just a "smidge" of apprehension. You see, there were always things that I thought I would have learned by the time I was 40...like how hard it is to own your own business, how being in love can make you want to be a better person, and how having kids can actually make you one.
I'm not giving up on these lessons just yet, but for now let me tell you what I have learned...
There are things that I can't change...
- I can't make people like me, that's their decision to make. And if they choose to not like me for who I am, then the best I can do is to respect them for who they are and go on with my life.
- I can't make things better for others if I can't help myself first. God is the only one who can change me from within, but I have to be the one to do the asking.
- I can't change the fact that our governor is an egotistical, self-centered, homophobic, hypocritical, bigot. I can only pray for him, our state, and my own state of mind.
- I can't change the past. No matter what has come before, I ask God to show me the grace in it and to help me use it to make myself a better man.
There are things that I can change...
- I can realize that perception does not equal reality. Just because I feel a certain way about something does not make it right. Feelings come and go but the way I deal with them is up to me.
- I can be bold. II Timothy 1:7 tells me that I have power over fear. Whether or not I choose to use it, is up to me. I like people to be straightforward and upfront with me, so I should show them the same respect. If I want something, I will pray about it...go after it...and not give up until God tells me otherwise.
- I can change those around me by living the example that Christ set for me. I don't have to be perfect, I just have to do my best in all things.
- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It doesn't say "some things" or even "most things." All means ALL!! If I can remember that, I can change the outcome of an event before it even begins.
There are things that I won't change...
- I won't change who I am just because it makes someone uncomfortable. "It's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not." (Unknown) I can be respectful of others and even try to help them understand me, but I'm proud of who I am, what I've accomplished, and where I've come from.
- I won't change the fact that I fall in love too easily. Corinthians tells me that by the grace of God, I am who I am. To me that means that I believe in true love, compassion, and the fullness of grace. I may get hurt, but for me, the pain is worth the risk.
I have learned that God has a plan for my life and that I may not know exactly what that is until I see him face to face. I've learned not to give up on my dreams, and not to be so foolish as to think that those dreams will never change. I've also learned that my dreams do not have to be accomplished in the next 3 years. But most importantly, I've learned to pray that God would continue to bless me with the wisdom to see things for what they truly are...and that we would continue to learn together!!
Happy Birthday to me!!
