I've just finished reading The Five Love Languages and it probably comes as no surprise to you that my language is Words of Affirmation...I didn't really need to read the book to know that, but I did need to read it to confirm what I believe to be the love language of the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with (more on this to follow soon).
And I personally believe that the book is right on the money. I've spent the better part of a week speaking the language of physical touch to my future mate, and I'm amazed at how much more relaxed and focused our relationship has become.
If you haven't read the book (and I encourage everyone to read it), the 5 languages are:
Words Of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
and Quality Time.
Gary Chapman is the author and he even has a version written specifically for men. It's a great read...but I must admit that I didn't start out reading the book to understand myself...I wanted to understand someone else. But what I found was that understanding my own love language was valuable for me. It is a wonderful tool for me to use in all my relationships. Now, I better understand why I act the way that I do when I don't feel loved, and why I sometimes react to those around me in ways that they don't understand.
If you want me to know that you love me, tell me straight up! Don't beat around the bush and don't say it sarcastically. Just be honest and tell me how you feel. That is the way that my mind processes the feeling of love. No gifts and no quality time necessary...just be sure to tell me as much as possible...
I guess that's why I've often felt apart from God. I don't hear an audible voice from him say, "I love you." But that's OK. I'm mature enough as a Christian to hear it from those he's placed in my life and to understand that each person is a blessing from him...his way of telling me that I am loved and treasured.
And I've read enough of his word to hear him tell me that he loves me through his parables and deeds. For me, it's enough to look at my life and see that he tells me that he loves me every morning when I wake up. In the groggy state between snooze and the smell of coffee I hear;
"Good Morning Dale. Guess What? Yesterday is gone and today I've given you a fresh start...a clean slate. I've been singing over you while you slept and our father has given you a new day of freedom. Today, my mercy is new and my grace is sufficient... So let's do this!"
A fresh start...New mercies...Grace...Freedom...
If that doesn't say "I love you"...I don't know what does!
And guess what...I'm not the only one he sings over...
