I spent some time at the Austin Rock Gym today with Mike. It’s a great place to go if you are at all interested in rock-climbing and I would highly recommend it to anyone as a fun activity. Now, the gym itself is in a warehouse off of Lamar and upon first entering the building, you may think to yourself, “That’s it? I can get through this in about 15 minutes…I thought this was going to be fun.” And if this is your reaction, I promise that you’ll regret it as soon as you start to climb. The courses are a lot harder than they look and you wear yourself out a lot faster than you can imagine.
To climb in the gym, the colored tape marks the level of difficulty for each course. Mike is a master of being able to stand on the ground and map out exactly how to navigate through the course to reach the goal at the top. He has a great analytical skill and a discernment that allow him to see the way to the top, long before he even starts. I on the other hand seem to do better when I “just go for it” and start to climb. So long as I focus on the next rock ahead of me, I can quickly and seemingly gracefully make it to the finish line...and therein lies my problem. This is a great strategy for the gym...not so much for life.
I realized today that life is one long moment of inertia. When you climb on the rocks, sometimes you get uncomfortable...and the only way to move to the next grip is to push off with your foot, away from the safety and security of the wall, and throw your hand toward the rock that you HOPE you will be able to grip. It’s a lot easier to do in the gym than in real life. See, I also realized today that I have a habit of running away when things are uncomfortable…not difficult or overwhelming…that at least would be understandable. I just tend to run when I’m uncomfortable.
I run when I’m tired of fighting. Lately, when push comes to shove, I find myself falling over with the smallest nudge. Things are difficult at work, so I don’t stand up for what I believe in…I hear myself say, “if I can just make it through the next [so many] days.”
I run when I’m lonely. I know what I believe in my soul, without a shadow of a doubt; but when I can’t express it in a way that someone else can understand…I cut my losses and move on. I allow myself to fall in love with someone, and when I don’t think that they are falling back quickly enough, I begin to fear the worst. I tell them that I will be patient and I mean it…but how can I help them see that?
I run when I’m faced with making a decision. The lease on my apartment, the contract on my job, and the last car payment on my jeep all fall on May 31. I’m telling people that it’s a sign that I should make a change, but that would mean making some decisions…so I don’t. Making decisions requires effort, and I’m usually too tired from running to expend the energy.
All of the above being said…here is the kick in the rubber parts. Now that I know I’m a runner…the question becomes, “What am I running FROM and what am I running TO?” Knowing my penchant toward procrastination, you won’t get an answer anytime soon on this blog. But I do hope that I will have the answer soon for myself. I’ll let you know ASAP…or whenever I get around to it.
PS. Thank you Mr. Kenney…It’s good to know that, when I'm trying to run and I need an obstacle to slow me down, I can always count on you to be in the way!!
